Private: Finding Support at the Top

Dr. Brian Hollett contributed to this post.

The recent article in Crain’s, “Mental Health and the C-Suite: Who’s at Risk” brought up a very important mental health topic and one that should not be ignored; building social and emotional equity and how it can save us from the sometimes devastating struggles of professional success.

As a doctor who treats many of these C-Suite executives and as a CEO myself, I know firsthand it can be lonely at the top. If we are not deliberate, it is easy to begin to tie our identity primarily to our professional achievements and accomplishments. As we climb the ladder of success, we often also begin to experience more autonomy and with that often comes decreased relational accountability and support and a less authentic personal community.

In this position “at the top,” our sacrifices, choices and challenges change and the burden of responsibility begins to fall squarely on the shoulders of us as a leader. In today’s social media world, it is largely unacceptable to share vulnerability, weakness, and uncertainly in/through our social channels. Showing any sort of weakness can have a ripple effect, so we often ignore or suppress our emotions. Our pride can often limit us from revealing our deep personal struggles to others. We lack margin in life, and lack meaningful routines of true rest and recovery. When we falter professionally, it is a threat to our identity. We feel powerless to break the cycle of struggle and internal decay.

This is a recipe for disaster, whether you are an executive or not.

This article brings up the idea that we need to understand our minds, our emotions, how they work and how humans are built to interact. This response is not blaming anyone or any approach, just an attempt to recognize the need for safe, secure, trusted people and social networks. In addition, it’s important to recognize (1) the need for further probing, (2) an understanding of human weakness and our protective mechanisms (3) a need for processing (both alone and with support), and (4) that strength is ultimately found through weakness.

So what? What should we do, how should we tackle these problems?

Start by identifying your vulnerabilities and personal weak points. Understand your emotions and how they may trigger you. Ask for help by understanding who you can lean on and build an inner council. Get an assessment from a health professional who will work to understand the entirety of you as a person and provide direct and clear feedback. Use your weak points to build a stronger system.

Physical health and psychological health go hand in hand. Trying to deal with each in isolation from the other is a disservice to yourself. Real and comprehensive health is not built within the four walls of a doctor’s office – it happens in all the little moments throughout the day; each choice adds up to something bigger. Real health is not an accident. It is as a result of deliberate practice – examining not just physical and psychological health, but lifestyle and habit architecture as well.

As leaders, we get better when we get comfortable being uncomfortable. We all need to be having these sometimes uncomfortable conversations and we need to continue to identify the sources of nourishment and depletion in our lives. We must continue to pursue our mission, values and purpose in life. And we need that inner council; those individuals with whom we can be fully authentic- wounds, scars and all.